Will my life ever feel okay again after this traumatic experience?

Is it possible to grow and expand after a traumatic event and/or enduring multiple traumas? The answer is yes. And it's referred to as post-traumatic growth.

When someone experiences a traumatic event that changes the course of their life, challenges their core beliefs, and causes psychological struggle; growth and hope after the event feels almost impossible. And yet, stay with me to the end, life after trauma is possible.

A metaphor to help understand post-traumatic growth is through the image of a seed. Imagine yourself as a seed. You’re up hanging around enjoying life being nourished and cared for by the parent plant. You are connected and supported by those around you. You have an incredible view of the world and your perspective feels special. You are comfortable and unaware of any impending danger. Until the day the storm came. The storm that ripped you from your place of knowing, of comfort, of protection, of belonging.

You were cast down onto the ground with an earth-shattering thump and the pain of it was excruciating.

Trauma. Existential crisis — that feeling that all that was is no more. There’s a loss of meaning, a sense of being alone in the world, a realization of the fragility of life and the reality of death, a loss of connection with one’s spirituality or morality, and a disruption in one’s ability to hope, trust, or care about oneself or others.

You’re lost. It’s dark.

You don’t recognize anything around you. And so you do what feels safe … you turn inward, shut down and hibernate. The soil builds up over you, the ground begins to become your new home.

After a time it begins to feel safe and normal, and yet, you’re still so alone, until that day you feel a ray of light and warmth upon your shell. It feels new and strangely inviting.

The pain of being isolated and alone becomes less than the risk of extending yourself out of your shell to investigate this warmth and the outer world.

So with great effort, determination and courage, you struggle to push a small opening in your shell and ever so tentatively push out a tendril. It’s curious, this new feeling of possibility. You begin to reach out and trust this new environment. An incredible momentum is happening — you are building a whole new foundation and belief system about yourself and life.

You’re beginning to trust yourself and slowly trust others.

Once safety and stability are present you realize another shift is about to happen, one that’s going to take courage, trust and hope in growing upward and so you decide with great effort and purpose, to crack open again and push your way to the surface.

This takes a great deal of determination and persistence to reach outward, and yet you have instinct and intuition that reassures you that it is worth it.

And so that little green tender shoot exposes itself to the world, ready to face the challenges ahead knowing that the potential growth and transformation is worth it.

You reach up towards the sun feeling it’s warmth, its wonder and its energy. There’s no guarantee that you won’t be hurt again or experience pain, but you sense an inner strength that wasn’t there before and you trust the roots you're still actively growing.

And before you know it, your body starts to change and leaves begin to develop. Photosynthesis: the process used by plants to harness energy from sunlight and turn it into chemical energy. And this is where new relationships form, a renewed appreciation of life, new possibilities begin to open up, a recognition of one’s personal strength and a realization of the connection to all nature and source.

And as the plant continues its journey ever upwards towards the sun, it becomes strong, resilient — ever changed.

The journey is not over yet, because out of all this growth and change, a flower is born. This unfolding of wonder and uniqueness is glorious, splendid and attractive. Honey bees, other insects and birds come and share in the fruit of this plant’s labour; co-existing and connecting to each other intimately and vulnerably.

And the plant has one more gift to give to the world — more seeds. These seeds contain the DNA and history of all that this one little traumatized seed experienced, witnessed, endured, and learned, and now this plant’s seeds can go on extending this story to others and bring healing and purpose to those around them.

It is through all this stress and trauma that this one little plant was able to develop and grow into a being of wonder and beauty.

My hope is that you can see yourself in the story of this seed and that it brings you hope and courage to know that growth after trauma is possible.

I’m here today to tell you through my own personal experience that it can happen.